This week I had the random urge to retake the Myers-Briggs
Type Indicator (MBTI) personality test. I know, I know, random, but I couldn’t
get it out of my head until I did it. Back in college one of my majors was
Psychology so through the course of my study and extra-curricular involvement I
have taken a variety of personality tests to determine whether I was Type A or
Type B, what animal I would be (lion, otter, beaver, golden retriever), my temperament,
what my spiritual gifts were, etc. You name the test, and I probably took it.
One thing that routinely shows up in the results is my deficit
in sympathy. That has always bothered me to a degree because I know that as a
follower of Jesus Christ I am called to have mercy and compassion, weep with
those who weep (Romans 12:15), and bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). It’s
not that I don’t do those things. I do. In fact, at times I find myself crying uncontrollably
while praying for a known need. However, even as I type that I realize I am
doing so with little emotion and a more matter-of-fact attitude. This isn’t
because the tears are phony, but because the tears originate in the mercy of
Jesus Christ whose Holy Spirit moves within me in spite of my natural
tendencies in order to accomplish His will and purposes. The verse “We love
because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19) is very true in my case. My expression of compassion is not typically demonstrated by warm fuzzy sentiment but rather by a compelling desire to point them toward the truth and sufficiency of the Bible. It usually manifest itself differently than those who would be labeled as merciful or feeling.
A desire for truth has all too often trumped my exercise of discretion
or compassion. Thankfully the Lord is still working on me so that, with more regularity,
my words come with a pause for reflecting on whether it is useful for building others
up in the Lord or if it will tear them down or if it is self-promoting. I
desperately need more wisdom and discernment in my speech, but the Lord is
faithful to complete His work.
This morning I read a blog
from a precious friend who has served and ministered to more people in horrendous,
unimaginable heartbreak than anyone else I know. She does not do this sort of
work because of being a highly emotional person who simply must join her
emotions with those who are suffering. On the contrary, she is far more level
headed than I am. Her courage, strength, steadiness under pressure, and
adaptability are always a true inspiration.
She recounted
an experience from the past in which she demonstrated incredible empathy, again,
not because she is highly emotional, but because the Lord has given her a
passion for reaching out to those who are in need of strength, an alternative
(hope), and healing. While reading her account
I was reminded of my own prayers for more compassion and for a willingness to
listen rather than to keep speaking. Sometimes feeling deeply about a person’s
pain is not best demonstrated in normal emotionally expressive responses but
rather in the steadiness of what you know is true. Sometimes being the
unmovable presence that they can count on regardless of circumstances is what
is needed.
In Genesis 16 we read the account of Hagar who runs away
from Abram’s wife as a result of Sarai’s abusive jealous rage. Hagar was alone
in the wilderness, likely with no hope of survival on her own (in chapter 21
she nearly dies in a similar situation), but God’s voice and presence break
through the emptiness. God gave her a message but not a message that lied and
said ‘everything will be okay’ as we often say when we see people’s suffering. No,
Hagar will have a son, but he will be against everyone and everyone will be
against him (Genesis 16:10-12) - not exactly what a future parent wants to hear.
Where was the encouragement? Where was the compassion? What kind of helpful
presence could that possibly be?
What was Hagar's response to this depressing news? She finds
hope. Wait, why? How? She could have hope because she experienced the presence
of God – not as a heartless being but as “the God who sees me” (Genesis 16:13).
She had hope because she was not alone in her current misery and would not be
alone in her coming misery because she knew His presence. The passage doesn’t
use the word hope so why do I say that is her response? Because she doesn’t
continue on her path of running away (then dying in the dessert) but obeys His
words (Genesis 16:9) and returns to face her fears and her abuser – that requires
hope and courage which come from knowing you are not alone. It comes from having someone present in your
life who is not scared away by the pain, suffering, or ugliness of the
situation but who is willing to stay, unmoved, and when the time is right to
speak truth.
What heartache have you experienced? What shame has driven
you to withdraw, run away, or strike out in fits of rage? What difficulty seems
insurmountable?
Be consoled, as was Hagar ---“So she called the name of the
LORD who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing,’ for she said, ‘Truly here I have
seen Him who looks after me’” (Genesis 16:13).
Allow the Lord to speak words of truth into your life. Don’t
seek after words that mere placate your emotions but words that spur you on
toward godliness, good deeds, and a priority fixed on Jesus Christ rather than on
temporary things. Take comfort in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ who
always keeps His promises and has no falsehood in Him. “The Lord is at hand.”
Philippians 4:4-14 [ESV] 4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again
I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be
anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God,
which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in
Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable,
whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and
seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. 10 I
rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern
for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. 11 Not
that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I
am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In
any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and
hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens
me. 14 Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble.
